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WAIS P-Mail: Cloud-Based, Sustainable Mailing Solutions (John Eipper, USA, 04/01/15 1:01 am)
We tend to view the Internet as robust, secure, and something to take
for granted, like anvils or the wired-in telephone service of yore. But despite legions of IT troubleshooters, not to mention the pioneering
vision of Al Gore, the 'Net is vulnerable to failure from overloading,
systemic collapse, and mischief of all sorts, whether from rogue
states, criminal gangs, or lone-wolf malefactors.
WAISworld's Editorial Team stays awake at night worrying about such things. Specifically, what if the Internet melts down? Losing your bank account and cute cat videos is certainly bothersome, but a day without WAIS is unthinkable. How would we maintain the viability of our organization if WAIS--henceforth known as Conventional or "Classic" WAIS--were to go poof? Send everyone an e-mail to inform them that e-mail is on the blink? Patently absurd!
WAIS P-mail re-imagines a proven technology to render it smarter, intuitive, and more user-friendly.
Each of our 250+ worldwide community of fellows (and fellowesses) will house, feed, and acclimate a flock of 10-12 homing pigeons, outfitted in proper WAIS livery as above, and they will transport them daily to WAIS HQ, Royal Oak. Postings will then be secured to pigeons in hard-copy form, to be delivered directly to member inboxes:
WAISers may then respond to an individual post via the same pigeon, or they can start a new discussion on a topic of their choosing, but this should be entrusted to a rested bird. The same editorial norms apply: verify your sources, proofread, and no ad pigeonem attacks.
Note: In keeping with current tech preferences, WAIS P-mail is also available in a mobile App:
WAIS P-mail will exist in tandem with Conventional WAIS during the phase-in period, to run through 1 April 2016, at which time the Forum will become entirely cloud-based. WAISers can then rest easy, knowing they are safe from IS/Daesh's "Hacking Division," the Computer Warriors of Lil' Kim's Unit 121, or some weirdo in his basement (in his underwear) taking over cyberspace.
Pax to all on this glorious April 1st. Happy P-mailing!
JE comments: Splendid idea. Serviceable homing pigeons can be purchased in the $75 range, which is less than a proper donation to your favorite organization (PayPal to donate@waisworld.org). Flo, the Progressive Insurance lady, will provide a Group Discount for WAIS-affiliated birds. Please contact Flo directly.
Before I forget: here's a link to the P-WAIS anthem: Yradier's "La Paloma," as interpreted by a guy name Pepe. Gotta have links:
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Comments/Replies
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Is Online Banking at Risk?
(John Heelan, -UK
04/01/15 6:26 AM)
JE commented (1 April) about the impact of a failure of the Internet: "Specifically, what if the Internet melts down? [What about] losing your bank account?"
Many very experienced IT dinosaurs like myself avoid online banking like the plague because we do not believe it is secure enough, despite the protestations of bankers--they would say that, wouldn't they, to protect their profits?
In the real world where there is the combination of low-paid employees and money, crime is not far behind--the trinity of motive, method and opportunity. Third-world call centres are particularly prone and I personally will not do business with companies that have such offshore centres and are outside UK law. (I explored with a government minister the liability of a UK company for losses incurred by malfeasance in an offshore call centre. He replied that as long as the company had taken "reasonable" precautions in checking the offshore call centre's security at the time of contracting with it, they were not liable.)
JE comments: My solution: pigeon-based banking! But in the meantime, check your on-line money activity often. I try to do so every day.
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- Stanford's Travel Guidelines (April 1st Update) (Francisco Ramirez, USA 04/02/15 4:39 AM)
This document (below) is my idea of an April Fools' joke.
And to lower WAISworld's temperature regarding the Spanish Civil War:
In 1983 I gave invited lectures in Madrid and Granada over a three-month period. The invitation came from someone with left ties, so the right assumed I was coming from them. The left knew I was not really from them. It was funny to see how much what I said was being interpreted through classic left/right frames, none of which made much sense.
JE comments: Here it is. This came in via Overnight Pigeon, although the bird seems to have left Stanford on April 1st...1999! But wait a minute: are they "dissing" my town?
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- Stanford's Travel Guidelines (April 1st Update) (Francisco Ramirez, USA 04/02/15 4:39 AM)